i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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