i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
