She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
