how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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