420 ftw
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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