If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
