It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
