Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
