no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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