yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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