my vag is so smooth its legendary
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
