How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
