im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
