Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
