I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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