if i died would you start the facebook group?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
