We're facebook friends in real life
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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