i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
