trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
