these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
