Please, let me fuck your mom
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
