I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
