I'm drive I can fine osifer
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
