I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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