I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
