i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
