I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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