I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
did i just pee glitter
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
