it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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