is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
