I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
