Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
