Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
