Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Damn victory sex feels great
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
