Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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