Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
