He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
