I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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