Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize