Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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