he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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