i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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