Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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