White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
How external is "for external use only"?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
