no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
