Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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