Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize