Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
