Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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