In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
