i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
try to milk me bitch
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