Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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