HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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