id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
