i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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