She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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