Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
