I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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