Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
